I have been taking life too seriously!

Our family just wrapped up an incredible week of Spring Break. It was an unusual week for us, because we didn't really have any plans. After spending the first weekend of Spring Break in Houma, LA for Luke's soccer tournament (his team won, by the way), we really had no idea what we were going to do the rest of the week. After the tournament's medal ceremony, we pulled off at a gas station and literally sat there trying to decide what to do for the week. Should we drive over to New Orleans for a few days? Should we drive over to the beach and crash the family vacation of some friends? Should we just head home and do nothing for the week? What we came up with ended up being one of the best week's of our lives. Actually, I say "we" very loosely, because most of the credit needs to go to Heather on this one!

We decided that each member of our family got to choose one "local" fun thing to do, and then one "away" fun thing to do. How about I just list what we did during the week? You may want to steal some ideas!

Logan - Age 6
Local - sleepover with 3 of his friends
Away - visit Duck Commander (Duck Dynasty headquarters)

Luke - Age 11
Local - movie
Away - visit Duck Commander (believe it or not, the brothers actually agreed on something together)

Heather - Age 27 (like I would really put her real age on here)
Local - family picnic and bike ride around the Reservoir
Away - visit the Village Church in Flower Mound, TX (Matt Chandler's church)

Rusty - Age 39
Local - "ABC" Scavenger Hunts (we visited the zoo, Bass Pro Shop, and Sam's taking pictures on our iPhones of things starting with each letter of the alphabet)
Away - FC Dallas vs Houston Dynamo MLS game



I wanted to post about our week because it was fun! But I also wanted to share a bit of my heart and something I was reminded of during the week. After the first couple of days, Heather pointed out (in a very kind way), that it often takes me a while to enjoy things these days. She noted that I often have a very reserved, if not sour, attitude about things. An example would be that I showed very little excitement leading up to the family picnic and bike ride. After I "warmed up" a little, I had an amazing day with my family. After some analyzing and thinking, I was able to admit that I have started guarding my heart in an unhealthy way over the last 18 months. There is obviously a healthy way to guard your heard, and the writer of Proverbs even speaks about this when he says to "guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" (Proverbs 4:23). However, I have been guarding my heart, or, rather, I have been holding back portions of my heart in fear of it getting crushed again. When you give your whole heart to something, and it comes back destroyed, you really don't want to give your whole heart to anything again. When my heart was broken by my wife's infidelity in 2011, it took months to even begin to put the pieces back together again. Now, it is hard for me to give my whole heart to anything: my wife, my kids, my job, my church, sports, etc.

As you read this you may be able to sympathize with me. You may even say to yourself, "I don't blame him for feeling that way." But, I keep coming back to something my counselor told me when we had a one on one session about a year ago. I asked her how I was supposed to move forward and get to a new place without a magic pill or a silver bullet. Her response was these 4 things:

1. Time
2. Reassurance from Heather that there is real change in her life
3. Getting to a place where I could see that God may have allowed this to happen to change ME
4. LAUGHTER - DON'T TAKE LIFE SO SERIOUSLY

Unfortunately, I think life has become WAY too serious for me over the last 18 months. Although it is a daily struggle, I am learning to laugh more, and to not take life so seriously. Sure, I can mope and play the victim, but life is really too short for that. Instead, I need to accept what has happened and dive head first into the sea of grace, redemption, and restoration that has been given to me, my wife, and our marriage. So, pray for me as I laugh again and stop taking life so seriously. I sure do want to enjoy the best years of my marriage! Join me in laughing together...

Rusty and Heather