In Sickness and in Health

"In sickness and in health..."

I'm sure that I meant those vows back in 1996, but I'm also quite sure that I was not thinking about CANCER! But here we are 20 years later, and cancer is exactly what we are facing. In late October Heather was diagnosed with breast cancer. You can follow her journey through a Facebook page that her friends set up for her - "Hope for Heather."

God is already revealing Himself and teaching us so much about life, love, friendship, provision...and, of course...forgiveness?

This is a marriage blog, so let's get straight to the point:

Our marriage crisis in 2011 was painfully public, and is also well documented through this blog and our website (www.3strandsmarriage.org). At the risk of sounding insensitive (a much more harsh word is needed but I just couldn't think of one), there were days in 2011 that I probably wouldn't have cared if I found out Heather had cancer. The pain was real enough to where I honestly would have been ok if she was not alive. I'm trying to choose my words carefully even as I write this, because I know how awful that sounds. But unless you have lived through a similar pain, don't judge!

Through time I grew, I learned, I matured...I forgave. Or did I?

The process of forgiveness was a big part of my healing. I researched, studied, read, and listened to countless sermons on forgiveness. Based on what I understood about forgiveness, I could confidently tell Heather that I forgave her.

But then there were those days...

Triggers happened. The pain returned. The doubt crept back in. Did I really forgive her?

I got my answer on October 27, 2016. That is the day that the doctor called with the biopsy results. That is the day that cancer became a part of our lives.

On October 27...
I knew that I didn't want Heather to have cancer.
I knew that I would give anything to have cancer in Heather's place.
I knew that I would gladly take every treatment and have every surgery if Heather didn't have to.
I knew that I had fully forgiven Heather.

And on October 27 I claimed that the same God that healed my marriage will heal cancer.