I Look Ahead

I (Heather) haven’t wanted to write a blog post about my recent diagnosis on here because I didn’t see how the two things related. How does fighting cancer have anything to do with marriage?

Today is January 1, 2017, the fist day of the New Year. I was so excited to start this year by spending time worshipping with our Pinelake church family this morning. Jeff Redding was at Pinelake Clinton this morning and suggested that we were one of two people looking into 2017. We were either so excited about 2016 that we were running anxiously towards 2017, or, we were someone that is thankful that 2016 is over and we are looking expectantly for 2017 to be better.  As I thought about this, I thought about my cancer diagnosis! I knew immediately that I was looking expectantly to 2017. My prayer, without any doubt, is that God will completely heal me this year. I pray that after chemo, my surgery, and more chemo, that the doctor will say to me later this year, “Heather, you are cancer free!” I know that this is the prayer of mine, my family, my friends, my church family, and many others that are praying on my behalf. As we sang about our God that is good, chills ran over my body. We also sang “I look up” and tears ran down my face. Just listen to the words of this chorus.

I will look up for there is none above you

I will bow down to tell you that I need you

Jesus, Lord of all

Jesus, Lord of all

I will look back and see that you are faithful

I look ahead believing you are able

I have sung these words so many times! I have sung them with everything I have! I have sung them knowing that as I look back I can see that He is faithful! Oh how He showed himself faithful in our marriage!

But today, different words pulled at my heart. The words “I look ahead believing you are able” roared in my ears. It’s easy to look back and see His faithfulness, but do I look ahead BELIEVING that He is able? As I sat down to listen to Chip preach, I was processing through this thought in my mind. Then, he started preaching and stepped all over my toes! I will summarize it the best that I can, but if you are not a Pinelake member, I highly suggest you download the app and listen to it!

He talked about God having a plan for our lives and that we will know that plan if we surrender to Him each day. He said that God has created us for a purpose and that there is NOTHING that God cannot do in 2017! He gave us 3 ways that we can experience God’s best for us. The first way is to acknowledge and believe that God has a plan. The second way is to surrender to God’s plan. Chip made some amazing points that can be life changing in those 2 ways, but it was the third way that has rocked my world. The third way to experience God’s best for me is to realize that His plan is a journey. He brings fire to get the impurities out of my life. It’s a process. So, how do I experience God’s best for me? I embrace the journey! This is where the toe stomping occurred!

So many times since my diagnosis have I just wanted it to be over. I have wanted to get to October 2017, where my prayer will be to hear my oncologist say “Heather, you are cancer free!”. So, honestly, I was looking at 2017 just wanting to be at the end of it where I could hopefully start “normal life” again. Toes bruised!

So as I start 2017, it looks way different than it did a few hours ago. I pray that I enjoy every step of this journey called cancer. I pray that in the good times and the bad, I will be able to recognize it as part of the process. I pray that as I walk this journey with Him, I will look more like Him than I did at the beginning. I know that I will always sing “I look back and see that you are faithful” but Oh how I pray that I will start singing now with everything I have “I look ahead, believing you are able!”

Our God is faithful and our God is able. I want to embrace the journey. I want to look more like Him this year, in 2017!

Heather