I am so very excited because we are starting a brand new study with our small group! We are going to be reading and discussing John Eldridge's book entitled "Love and War". Rusty has read the book but I will be reading it for the first time with our small group. I look forward to reading about what God wants to continue to teach me about battling for my marriage, ways that Satan attacks our marriages, and spiritual warfare.
Spiritual warfare is something that is very real to me. It is something that has personally touched me and has continued to be put in my face over and over again.
Many people have asked me, “How did you get to the point that you actually stepped into having an affair?” I want to tell you that no one wakes up and says "I think that I'm going to have an affair." I was actually the one that said "That will never happen to me!”and “How do people do that?” and “How can people be so selfish?” Do those sound familiar? I know without a doubt that Satan wants to destroy marriages. He wants to start there and then try and destroy our families. So after my infidelity 4 years ago, and after God broke me and restored me, I tried to think back to the moment that my infidelity started. This was important for me to know because I am NOT going to make this mistake again and I am desperate to warn others of that moment! I want others, maybe even you, to recognize what I did NOT!
My mentor once told me that Satan never fishes with a hook. What did she mean by that? Think about it, if a fisherman threw a hook into the water would he catch any fish? No! So what does he do? He dresses the hook up with things that are attractive to the fish! He sparkles it up, he makes it shiny, he makes it jingle! He wants the fish to want what he has! Satan does the same thing! He doesn't tempt us with an affair (the hook). No one would bite because it's not attractive! We know the devastation that comes from them! When we look at the hook we see how it would destroy our marriage and our children! So, what does he do? He dresses the hook up, he makes it shiny, he makes it sound good, he makes it look like it would cure our loneliness, or validate us in a way that we desperately need. He makes it look like no one will know.
Looking back, I know the moment that Satan threw out the hook to me. My friend and I were at the pool and we asked her husband to take a picture of us. He "accidentally" faced the camera towards him and took a picture of his chest. We all laughed about it. Later he texted and said "your turn" and the two of us laughed about it again. HOOK! So why did I bite? Why did I think it was ok to laugh about this with someone that was not my husband? Because it didn't look like a hook to me! We were just playing around right? It looked fun. It looked exciting. It looked like it would make me happy. It looked like it wouldn't hurt me. It looked like I could handle it.
Oh how I wish I had seen it as a hook! So here is an important question! Why did I miss it? And even more importantly, how can I learn to never miss a hook again? And…on top of that, I am desperate to help others to see every hook for what it really is…an ugly thing that Satan uses to draw us to him and to pull us away from what Christ has for us.
A friend of mine said her hook was someone at the coffee pot at work. Every day, she dressed for work and got ready for work knowing that she would see “him” at the coffee pot first thing in the morning. She looked forward to that few minutes. He always said how nice she looked and they had a fun banter that they always went back and forth with. It was innocent, right? They weren’t doing anything “wrong”. He just made her feel good about herself and she liked it. But then it turned into a “let me complain about my spouse” session. And they begin to connect over that. She would think about how it would be to be with him instead. Then came thoughts like, “He would treat me better than my husband does” and “I bet he would appreciate me” and “Life would be so much better if we were together”. So they started spending more and more time together and would find other times to meet. She felt safe with him. She felt protected and loved. So things progressed and before they knew it, they wanted to be together and wanted to share themselves with each other in every way. Looking back…she should have never gone to the coffee pot!
So, what is it in your life that Satan is using as a hook to catch you? He wants you to see someone else as a better option for you. He wants you to be unsatisfied in your life and in your marriage. He wants you to be lured away from what God has planned for your life and your family. Are you going to “the coffee pot”? Are you doing something that is so very innocent that could lead to something else. Is God trying to keep you from taking a step towards something that will destroy you? Be honest with yourself. What is God putting in your heart right now. Recognize it. Admit it. Call it what it is and run.
Heather
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